How to treat informational interviews like asking a local

A few years ago I quit my job and bought a a one-way ticket to backpack across Europe and Southeast Asia. The #1 thing I learned in my travels? Always ask a local.

When it comes to planning, I've personally always been pretty Type A - spending months on research ahead of time, digging my nose into book after book, and blocking off my schedule by the hour in attempt to to squeeze as much as I possibly could into the ten short days I got of vacation a year. But some of the best-kept secrets and memorable moments can’t be planned for. In fact, it can almost be detrimental to finalize all your planning before you reach your destination. You can end up missing out on quite a lot!

If you’re looking for a major shortcut, it’s the locals know the tourist traps from the hidden gems, the scenic routes that don't come up on the quickest route from A to B on Google Maps, and - every so often if you’re lucky - the person who can give you the most authentic history of the country or the family who can cook you the best meal and actually invite you in.

The same thing goes for your career.

Many of my clients often fear making a decision or a taking a leap because of the countless times they’ve been excited about a role or position, only to realize that the reality is not what they expected to be. But there are tons of people out doing the very things you want to do with a rich understanding of what it takes to get there, just waiting to be tapped. They'll help you understand the subtle differences between what you think a job involves on paper, and what the actual day-to-day is like. What you think you need to do to get to different points along the route toward your destination, and the connections and shortcuts that might make your life a whole lot easier. They’ll often even expose you to opportunities you may not have even considered or been aware of before!

Others of you often express feeling nervous about reaching out for informational interviews because you feel like you're taking up someone's time, you don't know enough about what they do, or it feels too "schmoozy," and so on and so on. But when you reframe networking as simply asking for directions, informational interviewing and asking others for advice is really just one more arm to a beautiful web of human connection we have to give and take from. Most people have and continue to do the exact same thing to find their own directions, and actually enjoy the opportunity to share and pay it forward. And don’t forget that one day you’ll have the opportunity to do so, too!

Networking is just asking for directions. Always ask a local.

Finally, and most importantly, the more you approach people in your field from a genuine place of curiosity and interest - for advice rather than out of desperation - more often than you might expect they actually do end up being the ones who provide that final link to get you in. Regardless of the outcome, your career, just like your life, is one big, beautiful adventure. You have the opportunity to meet a lot of beautiful souls along the way - take it while you can.

Emotions in a day

Have you ever been kinda annoyed at the people (let's be real, probably including me) who always tell you "nothing is permanent"? Ok, maybe it's just me...but honestly, when you're feeling a certain way (sad, anxious, lonely...) it can be so hard to think of it changing anytime soon. That is, until you actually watch it happen...⁠
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Try it: Keep a log of all of your emotions or moods throughout the day today. Set a timer, check in once every hour or so, and write down how you currently feel.⁠
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You don't need to analyze it or try and figure out where you were and what you were doing that caused a certain emotion (certainly extra credit if you want!) You simply need to notice. How did your emotions change - how did they flow in and flow out - throughout the day?⁠
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Next time you're dealing with a difficult emotion, does reminding yourself that it's not permanent feel any different? Can you embrace the more challenging emotions as part of a full palette of paint? 🎨⁠

Disclaimer: While occasionally I include research and insights from my graduate classes in clinical psychology on my blog, I am not at this time a licensed therapist or mental health provider and therefore no content on this blog or website should not be considered or serve as replacement for therapeutic advice.

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Finding awe

When we experience something that feels greater than us, it takes us completely outside of ourselves. Out of our heads, out of our worries, out of our feelings of separateness and self-importance. We become overwhelmed by flood of emotion, as if our whole heart, our whole body, was expanding. It can almost be uncomfortable. ⁠

Can you think back to a time when you felt a sense of awe and feel it well up in your body, just a little bit again? As if you took a little bit of that place with you, and the experience continues to live on within you...?⁠

Where were you? What did that feeling tell you? How can you listen to it again? ⁠
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Disclaimer: While occasionally I include research and insights from my graduate classes in clinical psychology on my blog, I am not at this time a licensed therapist or mental health provider and therefore no content on this blog or website should not be considered or serve as replacement for therapeutic advice.

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