While you should be able to tell your therapist most anything, bringing things up specifically related to your therapist or therapy itself can actually be quite uncomfortable for many clients.
Just like in any relationship, I find that most people don’t want to hurt their therapist’s feelings by telling them that something they’re doing doesn’t feel quite right, or that they might be ready to come to a close.
But the truth is, we therapists want you to feel empowered enough to give us feedback and to speak up!
From time to time I try to check in on my clients for this very reason. I’ll try to ask things like:
How are our sessions going for you so far?
Is there anything you find that’s working particularly well?
Is there anything you feel isn’t working so well, or something you’ve been wanting to bring up or let me know? You can be honest. I want to make sure things are working for you.
In addition, I encourage clients to simply be genuine when bringing something hard up. Be honest and let your therapist know you’re having a hard time addressing something. You can start with statements such as:
“This feels a little awkward or uncomfortable to bring up, but…”
“I’ve been wanting to talk about something you said a few sessions ago, but have been feeling a bit ambivalent about it…”
And when it does ultimately come to tapering off sessions or bringing your current sessions to a close, more often than not most therapists will leave the decision to end therapy entirely up to you. You don’t need to wait for us to tell you that you’ve “graduated,” and any good therapist will simply make sure you have the room to fully explore and process what you want and how you want to move forward.
At the end of the day, the relationship you have with your therapist can often reflect similar dynamics to those you might have in other relationships in your life. If you find it challenging to provide direct feedback, assert your needs, or even “break up” with someone out of fear of hurting their feelings, there’s no better space to become aware of and begin to challenge these tendencies than the safe space of the relationship with your therapist. I encourage you to give it a try.
Want to learn more about working with Kim? Visit kimbielak.com or set up a free 15-minute consultation here.
