Mindfulness

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Did you know: There are different ways to "know"?

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Did you know: There are different ways to "know"?

Clients often come to me in the middle of a big decision: whether or not to pursue a career change, go back to school, accept a certain offer, etc.

First, I encourage you to destroy the idea that you will ever "know" with 100% certainty what you should do next, or that there is one "right" direction at all. However, there are decisions and lives that will feel more fulfilling, authentic, and satisfying than others, and there are many different ways of tapping the information and intelligence that will guide you closer to them.

We call these different ways of knowing…

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Mindfulness: who, what, when, where, why

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Mindfulness: who, what, when, where, why

Sometimes I feel like we've started to use the term "mindfulness" so much we start to gloss over it - which you have to admit is a little ironic, given that that's the exact opposite of its intent.⁠
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Think about it - the last time you saw something that said "be present," did you actually pause, take a step back, and savor the moment you were in? Kudos if you did, but if you're like most of us, you probably just kept scrolling.⁠

Where are you right now?

Where are you right now?

I was getting coffee with another therapist several weeks ago and as I attempted to glean some advice about my future she asked me: "Where are you right now?"

At first I tried to explain that I was still just in my second quarter of grad school, and when that wasn't the right answer, I tried explaining where I was more mentally and emotionally - pretty happy with where I currently am in life, feeling like I made the right choice switching careers, etc.

Emotional intelligence: Getting in touch with your feels

Emotional intelligence: Getting in touch with your feels

"The emotions are of quite extraordinary importance in the total economy of living organisms and do not all deserve being put into opposition with 'intelligence.' They are, it seems, themselves a high order of intelligence." - O. Hobart Mowrer

As most things in life, it can often be easy to simplify our emotions into two categories: good and bad. When we feel down, we try to change it. When we feel good, we cling to it. When we feel anything at all, we rationalize it because we’ve been told not to make decisions with our hearts, but rather with our heads.

What happens when you’re spiraling...

What happens when you’re spiraling...

We’re all familiar with the idea of “spiraling” down, or out of control. Chances are you’ve been caught in the cycle more than once. No matter how hard you try, somehow you just keep sinking deeper and deeper into an infinite hole of rumination, negativity, anxiety or fear.

Well, as it turns out, “spiraling” is actually a pretty good description of what goes on in the emotional process, though it can be hard to detect the nuances when you’re smack in the middle of it.

Let’s break it down.

Perspectives on happiness

Perspectives on happiness

We wasted no time in diving deeper into some of the central questions and themes surrounding happiness and ongoing happiness research in Week 2 of Harvard’s “The Science and Application of Positive Psychology.”

While it may sound like a simple subject, let’s start with just a couple thought starters:

  • Are you happy? Are you happy “enough”? Are you as happy as you want to be?

  • If your definition of “success” was simply to be happy, how would you be doing?

  • Should happiness be the main goal at all? What about the Zen idea of “transcending” happiness, rather than maximizing it?

Positive psychology & what it means to flourish

Positive psychology & what it means to flourish

I’ve spent the last several months pouring over research, trialing out various activities and “interventions,” and writing dozens of journal entries, papers and reflections in a graduate course called “The Science and Application of Positive Psychology” offered through Harvard.

Still in the midst of a quarter-life crisis and career change, I signed up for the class because I knew I wanted to pursue a path somewhere in this large and mushy arena they called “positive psychology.” I was also so energized by my yoga teacher training and recent explorations in self care, mindfulness and meditation, that I developed an insatiable desire to learn and understand all the science and theory that was out there behind it.

He Who Moves to California

He Who Moves to California

One of the highlights of my past year was coming home to California. But, while a an escape from the long winters back East was a welcome change, it was far from the only reason.

According to Nobel prize-winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman, while we might expect climate to have a greater impact on well-being, overall life satisfaction as reported by people in California is actually no different than that of people in the Midwest. But Kahneman also suggests that one who has recently moved to California will respond quite differently.

On Change

On Change

Whether we feel stuck or perhaps afraid of change, it only takes a step back to realize just how inevitable a force - far bigger than us and far beyond our control - change is.

When I came back home after just a few months of immersive soul-seeking, self-defining, view-shattering travel, I felt like an entirely different person. But it soon became clear that I wasn’t the only one who changed. I came home to find myself packed between moving boxes in friends’ apartments, introducing myself to new boyfriends and fiances, finding out about new buns in the oven, and congratulating others on new jobs.

On Being

On Being

When was the last time you watched the clouds? Perhaps you were a kid pointing out funny shapes, and perhaps even this has been lost on the next generation of iPhone-carrying tots. But I mean have you ever really, seriously taken enough time to gaze up and notice just how huge and majestic those big puffs of paint looming overhead every single day can truly be?

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Kim (Bielak) Slipski, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist #143946

(310) 734-8140 | kimbielaktherapy@gmail.com | 32 S. Raymond Ave, Suite 3B, Pasadena, CA 91105 

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