Clients often come to me in the middle of a big decision: whether or not to pursue a career change, go back to school, accept a certain offer, etc.
First, I encourage you to destroy the idea that you will ever "know" with 100% certainty what you should do next, or that there is one "right" direction at all. However, there are decisions and lives that will feel more fulfilling, authentic, and satisfying than others, and there are many different ways of tapping the information and intelligence that will guide you closer to them.
We call these different ways of knowing…
Emotions in a day
Have you ever been kinda annoyed at the people (let's be real, probably including me) who always tell you "nothing is permanent"? Ok, maybe it's just me...but honestly, when you're feeling a certain way (sad, anxious, lonely...) it can be so hard to think of it changing anytime soon. That is, until you actually watch it happen...
Try it: Keep a log of all of your emotions or moods throughout the day today. Set a timer, check in once every hour or so, and write down how you currently feel.
You don't need to analyze it or try and figure out where you were and what you were doing that caused a certain emotion (certainly extra credit if you want!) You simply need to notice. How did your emotions change - how did they flow in and flow out - throughout the day?
Next time you're dealing with a difficult emotion, does reminding yourself that it's not permanent feel any different? Can you embrace the more challenging emotions as part of a full palette of paint? 🎨
Disclaimer: While occasionally I include research and insights from my graduate classes in clinical psychology on my blog, I am not at this time a licensed therapist or mental health provider and therefore no content on this blog or website should not be considered or serve as replacement for therapeutic advice.
Emotional intelligence: Getting in touch with your feels
"The emotions are of quite extraordinary importance in the total economy of living organisms and do not all deserve being put into opposition with 'intelligence.' They are, it seems, themselves a high order of intelligence." - O. Hobart Mowrer
As most things in life, it can often be easy to simplify our emotions into two categories: good and bad. When we feel down, we try to change it. When we feel good, we cling to it. When we feel anything at all, we rationalize it because we’ve been told not to make decisions with our hearts, but rather with our heads.