Burnout

How to Disconnect on Vacation

How to Disconnect on Vacation

Earlier this month I got a call from Bloomberg News looking to discuss how to better take vacation. That’s right - while it may come as no surprise, it is certainly worth taking pause to note just how much many of us have lost the art of taking a truly effective vacation. Instead, if we’re not already shortchanging the time off we give ourselves, many of us go out on our vacations so mired in guilt in anxiety that we rob ourselves of the very chance to recharge that vacation is meant to give us in the first place.

You can read the short piece on Bloomberg here, and, as summer is just around the corner, I thought I’d take the opportunity to share a few more ideas that may help you take back your own vacation below…

Navigating holiday burnout

Navigating holiday burnout

When I think about the end of the year, one of two images comes to mind:

Frantic. Holiday. Rush. Overcommitted schedules, cycling between hosting, attending, and recovering. End-of-year deadlines. Overwhelming family dynamics. Impossible parking near any shopping center. And nervous breakdowns - probably more than one.

or…

How our stories shape reality

Therapy for stress

The greatest weapon against stress is the ability to choose one thought over another.

- William James

A lot of therapeutic approaches - from cognitive-behavioral therapy to narrative therapy - employ the same powerful insight: our reality is created by the stories we see it through.

When we choose to see all we have, rather than all we don't have yet, we live in a different world. When we choose to see a challenge as an opportunity rather than a calamity, we take different actions.

In fact, our interpretation of any given event can change our response all the way down to the biological level! One perspective can send us straight into fight or flight - heart pounding, palms, sweating, shallow breath - while just a small reframe suddenly allow our nervous system to remain calm, grounded and open to new experience. This is, quite literally, the power of a thought.

So next time you find yourself feeling triggered by a situation, step back ask: What is the story I'm telling myself? What might be different if I chose to see it a different way?

How you've been conditioned to "get ahead"

How you've been conditioned to "get ahead"

For me it started with the "honors track." The pressure to succeed never came from my parents - in fact, every time I was offered the option of testing for GATE, signing up for my first set of honors classes, or trying out for the varsity sport, my mom called around to check if it was even the right thing to do. She didn't want me to lose my childhood. She just wanted me to be a happy kid.

Can you have PTSD from work?

Can you have PTSD from work?

Our body doesn't do a great job of distinguishing between running from a lion and an urgent email when it comes to responding to stress, and in today's "always-on" culture, it also has a really big problem turning it off.

Why it's common to regress in the pandemic

Why it's common to regress in the pandemic

Two weeks ago I had my first group supervision as a new Marriage & Family Therapy Trainee at The Center for Professional Counseling. As we discussed each of our clients with my new supervisor - whose thick accent and provocative metaphors makes me feel like I have my very own personal Esther Perel - one of her comments regarding a client stuck with me pretty strongly: "This is a time that we all regress."

A pretty bold statement; and yet it also felt like it hit the nail exactly on the head…

Are you trapped in the epidemic of "success"?

Are you trapped in the epidemic of "success"?

Perhaps by now you're familiar with one of my favorite quotes pasted across my email signature, website and more:

"The planet does not need more successful people. The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind." - David W. Orr.

It was an important mantra for me during a time in which I was considering the next chapter in my career, and it was one of the first times I truly recognized that to be "successful" - a quality and condition of worth we've been taught to chase our whole lives - by itself doesn't necessarily serve anything other than our own ego. As Alok, himself, asserts in his talk: "Success is about self-promotion, not putting change into motion."

How to re-claim your work-life boundaries

How to re-claim your work-life boundaries

“Never feel guilty for taking your full lunch break, needing a mental health day, or using your vacation time. Make time for yourself now because you won’t get that time back.”

For many of us this can be just as relevant now, in the middle of a pandemic, as it is when things are "normal." If you are working from home or trying to fill your time at home, are you allowing yourself to take real breaks? Or have you let work bleed earlier and later into your mornings and evenings because you no longer have the boundaries set by your normal routine? ⁠