How they treat you is more important than how much you like them.
There's a big difference between liking someone - even loving someone - and being in the relationship you want. But to a great extent (hello rom coms and online dating apps!) we've been trained to focus on the partner, rather than the relationship. Do I like them? Do I find them attractive? Are they smart/confident/successful/interesting/funny enough to swipe right?
When we see love as simply a problem of finding the right “person,” we unconsciously compromise the significance of ourselves in the equation. In wanting their love, approval, and to be with THEM so badly, we forget about US.
How much you like them isn't what builds a relationship. How they treat you, how they make you feel, and how much they are willing to put in the work with you does. What if instead of how much you like them, you started to put you first?
Disclaimer: While occasionally I include research and insights from my graduate classes in clinical psychology on my blog, I am not at this time a licensed therapist or mental health provider and therefore no content on this blog or website should not be considered or serve as replacement for therapeutic advice.
